MOMMY= ME

Growing Into Motherhood.

Friday, September 16, 2011

Finally Friday: Confessions

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There is always a sense of predictability when dealing with a conversation between two mothers.  The number one question that always slips its way into conversation is, "Is she/he sleeping through the night?" In most cases, the mother eager to ask this question is the one with the sleeping baby.  Go figure.

Last week my girlfriend and I were playing catch up over the phone. We are both currently stay at home moms and our kids are only a few months apart in age.  After a few good laughs we somehow land on the subject of sleep...or lack thereof.  She reveals to me that her son has had trouble sleeping through the night, and that the sleepless nights are starting to take a toll on her.  I sense her waiting for my reaction and I chime in immediately, "Don't worry, Lyla doesn't sleep through the night either so we are on the same page."  Instantly I feel a huge sense of relief from the other side of the phone. It was almost comparable to when someone holds their breath waiting for something and then lets it all out at once.  "Really?" she asks.  "Yup" I say candidly.  "You thought I was going to rub it in that Lyla sleeps through the night...weren't you?" I ask.  "Gosh, if I have to listen to one more mother tell me how well their child sleeps through the night..." she replies.  "Tell me about it." I say.

Some mothers just don't get it.  A mother who has a child that doesn't sleep well through the night doesn't want to sit and listen to you talk about how your child sleeps a peaceful twelve hours.  We get the point. Sleep is great.  It is much better when your eyes are shut.

Then there is a mother's guilt. I actually used to feel bad admitting to other mothers that Lyla wasn't sleeping well.  I kept on thinking that maybe I was doing something wrong.  Maybe it was because every reaction I received was along the lines of "Oh, well maybe in another month or so" or "Susie Sunshine has been sleeping ten hours straight ever since she was born."  Better yet I would get the look.  You know, the "I feel sorry for you" look.  No wonder I thought I was doing something wrong! Thank goodness for my pediatrician, who assured me that this was normal, and thank goodness for the internet. I found a feeling of peace in reviewing online conversational boards between other moms dealing with the same situation...and I learned to cope.  Sometimes you have to remind yourself that every baby is different and each goes at their own pace. And that's okay.

So for now, a little extra coffee each day and a lot of laughter helps make each night a bit easier. Holding Lyla in my arms each night or kissing her forehead when she falls back asleep...and it is all worth it.

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