Bringing 'Sex'y Back

Before you get hesitant to read on, please know that today's post is not and I repeat not about Garrett's and my sex life (sickos).  Today's topic is inspired by a conversation I had with one of best friends who came to visit me a couple days ago (thanks Coll).  I really wanted to bring to light a topic that can be considered taboo to discuss- sex and sexiness (although you wouldn't think it with all the reality shows on tv now).  And what is with the picture above?  That is the last time I probably felt pretty darn good about myself (as you can tell by my attempted model pose).  As for the actual act of having sex...don't worry this post isn't about giving you a tutorial on how babies are made. Instead I am just choosing to open a dialogue about sex during and post pregnancy.

Everyone's experiences regarding sex during and post pregnancy are different, but I think it is pretty safe to assume that most woman generally feel the same emotional ups and downs. Ironically the movie Knocked Up was on yesterday which got me laughing. Remember the scene where Seth Rogen's character Ben is having sex with his pregnant girlfriend Alison?  Well if not... then the gist of it is they have to stop because Ben is too concerned about poking the baby with his penis (which is of course impossible) and Alison feels uncomfortable with her new baby body. How true this phenomenon is!  Many men feel like they will hurt the baby some way during sex (and I'm sorry but any man that is that confident in the size of their member needs a reality check). Some men may also feel uncomfortable because there is now someone literally present during all the action.  Both notions crack me up. The bottom line is that these feeling puts a major damper on the mood and it certainly contributes to making a woman feel unattractive during pregnancy.  It is bad enough that being pregnant can make you feel like an elephant, but it is even worse that you get penalized for being with child.  Luckily, most couples find a way to make it work so that both parties can be pleased...because after all it is a whole 10 months of being pregnant.

Then the day comes when you finally have your bundle of joy.  It is the day you have waited so long for and the happiest time in your life....but there is a catch.  Although you are beaming with joy on the outside, behind the curtains you are left in less than perfect condition.  After delivery your stomach is flub, you may have stretch marks, you probably received stitches, and you are instructed to basically wear a diaper for the next month of your life.  For the first few days you are on cloud nine so all those things just seem to be minor details, but as time goes on it can begin to wear on you. Most women are instructed to refrain from any physical activity for 4-6 weeks which includes getting your groove on.  This time frame is usually long enough to help rid of some of these issues, but after one month of getting adjusted to parenthood (and still not being able to fit in your jeans) you may still feel all but sexy.  Can you a blame a woman?  To add to all of this, you now have a little one in the mix which means that when/where you have sex is based around their schedule. Talk about complicated! So how can you bring the spice back in your life?  This is something that has been on top of mind since my 4 week mark is today!

Feeling sexy again for me starts on working from the outside in.  For starters, I am getting myself back on an exercise regimen...hence operation Hot Mom. Today I will start the journey towards my physical transformation so that I can feel more like me again and boost my confidence.  Garrett always points out to me that I tend to prance around the house in my underwear a whole lot more when I am on some sort of exercise routine (sadly he is right).  When I exercise I feel good about myself and I am not afraid to show it.  Since we are on a tight budget, I will not be purchasing a gym membership at this time. So today I will dust off my Jillian Michaels DVDs and try to shred off some of this baby weight.  Jillian promises to see as much as a 5 pound loss in a week, but I am not being THAT optimistic.  Let's see if her work-out routine really works! I also decided that I am going to take an 8 week kick boxing class that starts at the end of April. Let the transformation begin!    Today I am roughly 22 pounds away from my goal weight (which is what I weighed in my hay day during my college years).

I am also a firm believer in pampering yourself.  Little things like getting my nails done, waxing, and getting my haircut/colored are sure ways to help me relax and make me feel pretty. I have already scheduled a manicure/pedicure for Saturday to help me unwind from being cooped up for so long.I wonder what OPI color I will choose....maybe Dutch Tulips since it is Spring :)

I know all these things will help me feel better but, of course, it isn't just all about me.  Feeling sexy (and having great sex) is also about having that passionate connection with your loved one. I can tell you that having a child as brought Garrett and I much closer together.  Our biggest challenge will be making time to have alone time together (especially since Garrett is in baseball season).  Our first date night is going to be this Saturday...a night out to dinner with just the two of us.  We aren't going far from home, but the point is that we are actually getting out for some alone time. Hey it's a start.  I know that as Lyla gets a bit older (and on more of schedule) things will get easier.  Cheers to a new phase of mommyhood!